It’s a Wrap!
An interview with Andrea Herzog
By Penina Taylor
Jewish women have been covering their heads with scarves, or some form of scarves, since the dawn of time. And in Africa and the Middle East, the custom has continued unabated until today. But for Jews in America and Europe, scarves were at one point associated with being a “peasant” or worse and so were not the head covering of choice for religious Jews. At the beginning of the 21st century a walk through any significant Orthodox Jewish community in the United States would reveal strictly Observant women wearing wigs, hats, or some combination of the two. Berets and snoods could also be seen, especially among those who were dressed more casually. But in general, scarves were reserved for in the home, if at all.
As more people traveled to Israel, especially young women in their “gap year” at seminary, or newly married young couples spending the first year of their marriage learning in Yeshivah, the fashion of wearing intricately wrapped scarves began to catch on. But unless you had learned from your Israeli cousin or aunt, how to accomplish that beautiful look seemed out of reach for most Jewish women living outside of Israel. Until in 2012, a young Jewish married woman named Andrea (then Grinberg) living in Chicago, noticed how many Orthodox women were frustrated with covering their heads and felt completely burdened by the task. She set out to show the Jewish world that you could cover your head in a fun and inexpensive way that would allow your creativity to shine through and looked beautiful to boot.
Her early tutorials were just videos of her tying a scarf. She didn’t say a word, and had classical music playing in the background. But the joy on her face, her slow movements and the fact that she sat on a swivel chair so she could demonstrate what was going on in the back, were not only mesmerizing – they sent the message that anyone could wear a scarf – and do it in such a way that it looked beautiful, stayed on, was affordable, and offered endless options for color and style.
Andrea Herzog was born in Canada and grew up in what she calls a Jew ”ish” family. They attended a Conservative synagogue and were culturally Jewish. But as Andrea approached those pre-teen years when you really begin to think about what things mean, and life and death, she became what she calls the family atheist. Not unlike most pre-teens and teenagers, she was keenly attuned to what she considered hypocrisy and decided that she didn’t believe in Judaism.
Andrea says that passionate people are passionate people, no matter what category you are talking about, and in her case it was a passion for connection. Andrea says she is always seeking to connect with whomever or whatever she is involved in. She says that plays out in everything she does and is – whether it’s the family atheist or the “super frum tichel lady” or simply the spiritual seeker who is always trying to connect to God in a more authentic way.
After university, Andrea’s father arranged for her to visit Israel on a Birthright trip. While in Israel, Andrea discovered a connection with the land of Israel – she says it wasn’t the “state” or the people, but the actual land of Israel and she realized that that was something she had never explored before. Being a truth seeker, Andrea thought it a bit disingenuous to reject something (Israel) that she not only knew nothing about, but that was actually a big part of her heritage. So, in her 20s, Andrea began to explore Judaism in more depth, eventually committing to full observance.
During the time that Andrea was learning about Judaism she discovered an issue in her background that meant undergoing a formality conversion to make sure that there would be no question that her children were halachically
Jewish. But, to do an Orthodox conversion, it meant Andrea didn’t have the luxury of picking and choosing what parts of Judaism she wanted to embrace. Andrea knew that Judaism had the answers to what she had been searching for her whole life, but that doesn’t mean that she would have naturally embraced everything that comes in the package of “Orthodox Judaism”. Now, many years later, she’s revisiting some of those things – things that come with the package, and are the accepted communal norms but not necessarily required by Torah or halacha.
In addition to being a committed mom, a successful business owner, and a social media celebrity, Andrea is also an accomplished cellist who not only plays but also teaches cello to aspiring young musicians.
Andrea’s company Wrapunzel actually started as a blog and vlog. And if you think the name is clever (which it is), she credits her father with coming up with it. Long before there was Wrapunzel – the store, Wrapunzel the blog was born from Andrea’s own search online and discovering that other than a few hijab tutorials and one scarf tutorial in Hebrew, there wasn’t really much online to help women cover their heads with scarves – certainly nothing in English.
In spite of the fact that Andrea is an introvert – and people often ask her how she could possibly be an introvert when she is a performer – she says that it’s actually quite simple; as a cellist, she gets to hide behind her cello and doesn’t feel the same type of exposure that doing videos creates. But, after a health scare, she began to consider what her legacy is and felt that it would be a crime to leave this world without sharing what she’s learned about head wrapping. And although she’s very happy to report that the test results all came back negative, by that point the popularity of her videos had begun to snowball and she realized that people really wanted, and most of all needed, them.
Not long after, Andrea and her (then) husband relocated to Baltimore so he could pursue his doctorate and with the help of some friends, Andrea turned Wrapunzel the blog into Wrapunzel the business.
But anyone who is familiar with Wrapunzel knows that it’s so much more than just a store. It’s become a movement and a community of women from all over the world and every walk of life. The Facebook community alone has nearly 8,000 members, only a small percentage of which are Jewish. Although Andrea’s original project was aimed at helping Orthodox Jewish women with the mitzvah of covering their heads, she never realized how many others – not just Muslim, but Christian women, women experiencing hair loss, people who wrap for emotional regulatory reasons (who knew head wrapping could help with anxiety?), feminists who cover as a way of reclaiming their power, as well as those who just think it’s a cool fashion statement – covered their heads as well. She says it’s been a really powerful experience to be able to use this project as a way to build bridges between communities who otherwise might not realize how much we actually have in common. Andrea estimates that only 10-20% of the Wrapunzel community is Jewish.
Andrea says that whenever she’s having one of those days where she’s depressed by the state of humanity (we all have them, don’t we?) she takes a moment to think about this group of people who have come together through what amounts to just a piece of cloth, building bridges that some would have thought impossible. “Bridges between communities that supposedly hate each other and we don’t – we love each other, bonding over something that is really important and sacred to us.”
People who have been following Andrea for some time may have noticed that since her divorce she’s not always completely covering her head anymore. Although there are certainly rulings that have been handed down in Orthodox Judaism (even the stricter sects) that when a woman, especially a young woman, divorces, it is acceptable for her to stop covering her head, Andrea explains that this was not her primary reason for changing the way she covers.
But Andrea starts with the caveat that how a woman chooses to cover her head – or not – is between herself, her husband (if she’s married), God and her mentors. What’s right for one person may not be right for another – it’s an extremely personal thing. Andrea explains that she started covering this way – and started Wrapunzel, because it’s something she loves to do. So when she got divorced, she continued to cover her head, because it was what she did – what she was comfortable with. But then about a year and a half after her divorce, she realized that something just “felt wrong”. She felt like people expected her to cover her head because of the fact that she owned a head covering business. She felt like of all things, being a walking advertisement for
her business was not a reason to continue covering her head, that there was a lack of integrity there.
So after speaking to her Rabbi and a mentor about the whole topic, including what it was doing to her to continue covering, she realized that what had started out as a joy was now becoming an oppressive obligation. She felt that to continue covering her head and sending out the message that it’s a beautiful and liberating thing while it was actually the opposite for her, was the height of hypocrisy as well as doing a disservice to her company and its customers. Andrea says that she always promised herself that if she lost her yirat shamayim – spiritual connection – as a result of the company, that she would close it down. She has never been someone who wanted a business for the sole purpose of making money. She sees Wrapunzel as a service, above all else.
Andrea says it’s not been so cut and dried, though. Because on the one hand, she didn’t want to continue covering just because of the business and appearances, but on the other hand, to go out uncovered didn’t feel right either – she says there were a few months where she just didn’t want to leave her house because she was so conflicted. On the advice of her business manager and friend she decided to try going out uncovered for a week and it eventually got easier. But at the same time, Andrea says she still likes to cover her hair, so she changes it up pretty often. Sometimes she covers fully, sometimes she does a “half-wrap” and sometimes she goes out uncovered, and this is working for her. But, she says, when you live in a community where everything you do is a statement, she feels it’s actually easier for her to fully wrap when she is not in the community.
Whenever I’m having one of those days where I’m depressed by the state of humanity, I take a moment to think about this group of people who have come together through what amounts to just a piece of cloth, building bridges that some would have thought impossible
– Andrea Herzog
Even though Andrea is definitely “out of the box” when it comes to Orthodox Judaism, she does feel that boxes and labels serve a constructive purpose for society. They help us to figure out who belongs to our tribe – who is safe, and who is not. There’s a reason that we naturally do this. But unfortunately, in tight-knit communities like Orthodox Judaism, being “out of the box” is yet another box in itself, which can be a difficult place to be. This is especially true since Andrea says she’s actually not as far “out of the box” as many people assume, based on the way she covers and dresses.
When asked what her favorite pastime is, Andrea begins to beam as she says, “spending time with my kids.” Andrea loves taking her two boys hiking and exploring the outdoors. But she doesn’t mind being indoors either. She says that during the height of the pandemic she ended up homeschooling the boys for a year, and she says it was the best time of her life. She absolutely loved that one-on-one (or two) time, and being able to be a part of their lives in such a saturated way just made her more in love with her kids. Although she is quick to credit her amazing Wrapunzel team with how she managed to run a business and be a single homeschooling mom. “Without them,” she says, “I couldn’t have done it,”
What is the biggest challenge she faces with Wrapunzel? Andrea explains that by nature she’s a people pleaser, but that’s not possible when you run a company. Being in charge means making decisions that aren’t going to always make everyone happy. And realizing that it’s impossible to make everyone happy is a constant battle for her. Of course, she’s also come to realize that this is true about every aspect of her life – whether it’s parenting decisions, political decisions or religious decisions, she has to make those decisions based on her truth and what’s right for her and not what other people are going to think.
All in all, though, Andrea says that even though the world is kind of crazy right now, overall she likes where things are headed. Whether it’s body positivity, or the call for authenticity, the world in general is headed towards a kinder, more honest place. And that’s a great place to be.
Photo Credits: Andrea Herzog, Wrapunzel