What to Keep and What to Toss
Written by Ellen Frank Bayer
Decluttering: for some the word conjures up death. Black garbage bags piled on the sidewalk in front of a house. How quickly a house turns over after the occupants die. The house is emptied and then taken over by the next owner.
My parents died many years ago and some of the items I saved from their house are still sitting in boxes in my basement. I am almost ashamed to say it has been over ten years since we sold my parents’ home but I still cling to these items. What is in these boxes? Old scarves, pictures and items I thought I or my children would need.
Just to be clear, none of my children or my cousins had wanted any of the “treasures.” I even brought some of the items to a family reunion and asked my cousins if they wanted them; no takers. So they remain in my basement waiting for…what? Why am I holding on to these items? Why is it so hard to let go?
The answer may lie in the fact that we attach our own self-worth to what we own, and this problem is not only universal, it’s as old as time. Alison Stewart, the author of Junk, Digging Through America’s Love Affair with Stuff, states that a “human being’s desire to have his or her junk close by is ancient history. Even the Egyptians were buried with their furniture, jewelry and food for the afterlife.”
According to Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus, authors, podcasters and Netflix stars, also known as The Minimalists, the hardest part of decluttering is in your mind. You have to make up your mind that you want to get rid of things and then find the time to actually sit down and get rid of them. Clearing out lets you make room for more: in the words of The Minimalists: “creating more room gives us more time to find the things that are more rewarding. ”One of The Minimalists’ most popular tactics is the “just in
case rule: If you can spend less than $20 and find it in less than 20 minutes you can get rid of it.” This rule helped me throw out gift wrap, old shopping bags, greeting cards and picture frames.
Here are some tips for clearing out and letting go:
1. Stop reading and start doing. Create a specific time and date for the clearing to begin and follow through. Use a timer to keep yourself on task. I find 25 minutes to be optimal with a five minute break. If you have more than 30 minutes, you can do two sessions, but take a break. Listen to music or a podcast while you are decluttering to make the task more enjoyable.
2. If clearing out a house, remove pictures first. This will depersonalize the house and will prevent you from going down memory lane and slowing down. The pictures can be put in a box and saved for later. If the “later” doesn’t come after a year or two, you may be able to let them go.
3. Every time you buy something new, give something else away.
4. Buy less. Think about why you are buying something and if you have a place for it in your home. Wait a day or two before you buy it. If you are shopping online, put it on a list instead of your shopping cart.
5. As soon as you fill up a donation bag, bring it to your car. Seeing the empty space in your closet will motivate you to do more clearing out.
6. Keep sentimental items: small things that bring up good memories: for example a favorite scarf, one or two handwritten cards from a loved one, a few books that bring up happy memories.
7. Throw away: pictures of people you don’t know, magazines, clothes that don’t fit, shoes that hurt, serving platters that are too big and you don’t use, burned pots that can’t be cleaned, dull knives, broken toys…
8. Play the Monthly Challenge Game recommended by The Minimalists. Starting on the first of the month, throw away one item, on the second day, throw away two items,… until you reach 30 days where you throw out 30 items. This challenge will give you a quick start and it can easily fit into your lifestyle. Start with less emotional items like the kitchen junk drawer and work your way into the items you have been holding on to for deep sentimental reasons.
9. For the really huge jobs, like cleaning out an apartment after a death, hire a professional. The emotion level goes way down when someone else is helping you get through it.
10. Think twice before you buy. If you really want a tangible motivator, open up a new bank account. Every time you refrain from buying something, put the cash saved in a separate bank account. Take a vacation with the money you saved.
Spend money on experiences, not things, and spend time, not money, on the people you love. That’s something you’ll never regret.
Spend money on experiences, not things, and spend time, not money, on the people you love. That’s something you’ll never regret.
Related Articles
Related
5 Things Every Guest Room Needs
As we approach the fall holidays, many people are beginning to think about traveling or hosting to spend the holidays with friends and family. In the Jewish world, especially the Torah Observant community, hosting guests is a cultural norm. Since traveling on Shabbat...
What’s Hot in Food & Cooking – A few tips to a more organized kitchen
Most of the tips available to help one organize a kitchen are aimed at a non-kosher home. For people who keep kosher the tips generally fall short as we have double, if not triple, of everything for everyday use, as well as a full set of everything stored for...
Sequel: How to Have An Organized Lifestyle Every Day of the Year!
Are you still living with chaos in your environment? Last month, I shared “10 tips to stop operating in crisis mode and be ready for Shabbat early, cool, calm and collected with lots of time to spare!“ and I cited “the Chatzos Lady”, Azriela Jaffe. Eliminating...