No Hiding Allowed – Celebrate Your Personal Style

Aug 1, 2022 | Style & Fashion

Written by Meira Schneider-Atik

Myth: As long as clothing flatters your body, the style doesn’t matter.

Truth: While flattery counts, personal style counts too.

I love the Harry Potter series of books. In the third book (my personal favorite), he learns how to conjure a patronus. A patronus is a reflection of good things that the witch or wizard can conjure from good thoughts and it protects against dementors which are there to suck all happiness out of a person. 

“What does a patronus look like?”

“Each is unique to the witch or wizard who conjures it.”

My cousin and I have similar body types and if dressing was only about flattery, we could wear each other’s clothes very easily. However, my cousin’s personal style is very classic. Her clothes and accessories make her look smart and classy. My personal style could be described as casual chic with a twist. My clothes make me feel creative and youthful. If I tried to wear my cousin’s clothes, I would look like a stodgy old lady. And if she tried to wear my clothes, she would feel silly and childish. 

It’s true that if you’re wearing something that doesn’t flatter you – that is, it doesn’t celebrate your body and make you look healthy – then your personal style will only get lost. All anyone will notice is the unflattering item. But an item can be flattering and still not work for you and that’s because it might not suit your style. 

Your clothing, accessories, and grooming all come together to make a statement about who you are and you need to make sure that you’re making the right statement. It’s your real-life “patronus.” That means that your appearance needs to reflect things that you like about yourself. You may want to make the statement of “I’m smart” or “I’m creative” or “I’m sporty.” This is just a small sampling. 

If you’re not sure what your personal style is, start by writing down a list of adjectives that you want people to use to describe you. Be positive and don’t hold back. Some great adjectives are smart, intelligent, elegant, classy, creative, artsy, fun, youthful, sporty, athletic, edgy, sharp, unique, and more. Do be realistic. If you’re under 5 feet tall, then “tall” isn’t good here but “regal” and “great presence” are both good. If you’re plus-size, then “thin” or “skinny” are not good here but “healthy” and “active” are both great and so is “great presence.”  

Next, start looking at clothing and accessories in stores and online. Does anything stand out? Are there items that grab your attention?

Try to notice what the items are saying to you. This is where you have to go with your gut. If an item is expressing something that you want to express about yourself, then it’s worth a closer look. If you’re in the store, try the item on. If you’re looking online, you won’t be able to try the item unless you’ve purchased it and it’s arrived. But make sure you try it right away. Not only must it flatter your body, it must say something about you that you want said. 

For example, if you try on a colorful print top and it says to you “I’m artistic,” and you actually want to express your artistic side, then the top works. But if you’re larger on top than on bottom, you may prefer to wear the top only as a shell with a more neutral overtop that says “I need you to look at my face.” If you’re not artistic, you may prefer a solid blouse that says “I’m smart and classy.” Or you may prefer a simpler top that says “I’m sporty and casual.” 

If you’re looking for a sporty and casual look, you may be looking at jeans skirts. And you may specifically look for the denim in a medium or light wash for that casual look. If the skirt is fitted and cut in a shape that gives you a healthy and feminine look on the bottom, you’ll get exactly the sporty and casual look that you want. But if you want a more smart and classy look, you’re better off with denim in either white or a very dark wash. 

 

It’s absolutely fine to notice what other women are wearing and to try new items based on that. Many great styles are inspired by what other women are wearing. But for your own style, you have to take this with a grain of salt. An item might express the style you want on another woman because it suits her but it might not suit you.

That classic suit might make your friend look glamorous and powerful and it might do the same for you if it fits you and flatters you and expresses your style. But if it’s not your style, then even if it fits and flatters your body, it won’t make you look glamorous or powerful. However, a button-down shirt worn over a shell with a structured skirt might give you that glamorous and powerful look you want. 

Accessories can often make a huge difference. A simple base outfit in a classic neutral like black can often express different styles just by changing the accessories. A simple pearl necklace makes it look classic. Several strands of pearls in different shapes is also classic but with a fun twist. A pink scarf makes it look feminine and soft. A leopard print belt gives it a little power. Bright green chandelier earrings are fun and go right to the face. 

Hair and coverings play a part too. If your style is classic, you’ll want a classic hairstyle. If your style is more creative, you may prefer something a little more “wild” and free. If your style is more edgy, you might want something with sharp lines and edges. If you cover your hair, your covering needs to match your style. Many hats and berets are classic but can be worn in other ways to reflect different styles. Mitpachot/tichels/headscarves are wonderfully versatile and can be found in colors and styles to reflect just about any personal style.

Sometimes, it’s the concept that makes the difference. Headscarves are generally creative and artistic and some women love how they look but can’t pull it off because the concept doesn’t work for them. The concept of covering the hair with hair suits most of my peers but it doesn’t suit me and that’s why I don’t wear a sheitel. 

Again, flattery does count. If your clothes and accessories don’t celebrate your body and face and coloring, no one will see your style. But they need to reflect things that you like about yourself. When they do, it’s much easier to hold your head high and love everything you have to offer.

Not only must it flatter your body, it must say something about you that you want said.

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