They Said She Couldn’t, But She Did. And Then She Conquered.
An interview with Penina Taylor
By Yaffi Lvova
Penina Taylor’s bio says she is an inspirational speaker, life coach, and author. But if you’re in her closer circle, you know that she’s much more about her passion, her drive, and her love of seeking truth. And then sharing it.
Penina has placed herself at the helm of UNORTHOBOXED, with the unique mission to bring essential knowledge as well as a sense of belonging to every Observant Jewish woman, no matter where on the spectrum she falls, through a lifestyle publication; discussing issues common and important to the religious Jewish woman, as well as publishing some articles that are lighthearted, entertaining, or inspirational. Judaism is a path that requires curiosity, and Penina is happy to first ignite that spark.
Penina’s story is quite the ride. If it was compared to the log flume ride at Disney, chances are there would be multiple pictures available for purchase next to the exit, one for each major shift in her life. The first image would be a scared child, next a rebellious teen, another is a young adult seeking the truth and believing it’s found in Christianity. The next about-to-fall photo would depict a student of Bible and Evangelism, soon to be a fresh-faced bride. Up and down, always seeking more information and more connection. As Penina re-discovered her ancestral culture, she finally found her place in the sun.
“One of the things that people don’t realize is that I haven’t had a lot of changes in my life because I’m flighty… but rather, I’m very much the philosopher. I’m always looking for the truth and I’m always open to the idea that I may not have the whole truth…I’m open to being willing to change in the name of trying to live my life in a more true way.”
Penina’s inquisitive nature and drive to seek the truth have led to her feeling like a troublemaker in some more traditional circles. She laughingly says that while Jews are encouraged to question, that only goes so far. Once you cross that line, the questions become a threat. But the more she sought out information, drinking it in, one question begat the next.
Penina has used education as her tool of choice during each life stage so far.
“I see a problem and I create a way to fix it.” Penina combines her education in psychology and her life experiences – particularly leaving another faith and coming home – to guide her professional pursuits. Counter-missionary work showed Penina that she truly wanted to live life from a more positive place. While the education provided through that work was and remains important, it is also by nature combative and oppositional. “I didn’t want to spend my life tearing something down, I wanted to spend my life building people up, so I knew it was time for a change.”
When Penina first got the idea for UNORTHOBOXED Magazine, she had to see if there was any interest. Testing the waters with a Facebook post, she received 200 messages within an hour. Eighty of these were potential writers. This resulted in the original 30 writers who comprised the initial team. All this from a single Facebook post. Penina’s passion was clearly reflected back to her. This was a project that had to move forward.
UNORTHOBOXED is controversial. But it’s not controversial just to be a thorn in someone’s side. It’s about inclusion and representation. Many Jews are not represented by the currently available Jewish publications, which are often very right-wing. It’s essential to Penina that people see themselves in the content she publishes. That wasn’t happening for a lot of people, hence the tidal wave response to Penina’s initial Facebook post.
In general people like creating boxes so that they know how to relate to others. Penina says it’s about knowing whether or not you are safe with the other person. Judaism is no different in this regard. There is a “box” of Orthodox Jewish identity, but unfortunately, its sides are determined by the popular Jewish media. And the message being sent is: If you don’t fit in this box, you’re not like us and you don’t belong here – you aren’t Jewish. It begs the question, How many people are actually in that box? And how many have a toe, an ankle, or a collarbone peeking outside those restrictive boundaries? Maybe the lid should be blown off that box completely.
Just as there are real Jewish people living inside and outside that proverbial box, there is also plenty hidden under the rug. Penina believes it’s important to unbox and discuss it. She says that keeping things hidden is what allows abuse and dysfunction to breed and that as a community we need to talk about the untouchable issues – the ones festering just below the surface. That was the inspiration for Penina’s first video podcast, “Unorthoboxed” which she created in 2015. She says it didn’t get off the ground because it lacked direction. The name for that podcast was inspired by Ruchi Koval and her Out of the Orthobox blog, and not certain recent Netflix shows, as many believe. Penina purchased the unorthoboxed.com URL for the podcast, but then held onto the unused URL for years. Something big was coming, but it wasn’t yet time.
At the start of 2020, everyone’s lives changed. “Pivot!” was the business advice of choice. Penina’s speaking career came to a sudden halt with the closure of public events and international borders. After an attempt at giving her courses online proved unsuccessful she says she had way too much time on her hands. My Unorthodox Life came out on Netflix and everyone had something to say about it. Penina sat and watched the whole first season, unwilling to make an uninformed opinion. Then she watched Unorthodox, castigated by the Orthodox public perhaps because it hit too close to home. While neither of these two shows were inspirations in and of themselves, what Penina took away from the experience is that there are many Jewish people who don’t “fit in the box” and are being sent the message that if they don’t, Judaism has no place for them, so as Penina puts it,
“they might as well go eat lobster.” She decided the time had come to send a different message.
When doing kiruv, rabbis advise new returnees to take it one step at a time. At the same time, within religious communities, there is pressure to meet certain standards. A new bride may be pressured to cover her hair – she may no longer be considered Orthodox if she makes any other decision. Some may no longer consider her food kosher. Some will no longer consider her a Jew.
UNORTHOBOXED is a space where women can be celebrated for who they are and what they have accomplished. This is crucial for girls and women, but also for boys and men. This is where you can find strong Jewish women being strong Jewish women. This is the place for representation, for intellect, and for an exit from the cycle of dysfunctional behavior where we have been collectively trapped.
Here is where women can find joy and connection.
Penina made the decision at the onset that while the magazine would speak to and represent Jewish women from the entire spectrum of observance, it would not be a “religious” magazine, per se. In order to be as broadly representative as possible, she felt the magazine could not subscribe to a particular hashkafa (Jewish worldview) and so the magazine does not publish divrei Torah or articles pushing the reader to adopt a particular religious practice. While this is frustrating to some, it is a breath of fresh air to others.
You can be an Orthodox Jew and do extraordinary things with your life… You can be a religious woman and do extraordinary things.
– Penina Taylor
Penina used to measure success in dollars. While income certainly remains a goal, for gratification in her work, Penina now focuses on all the thank yous landing in her inbox, which confirms that UNORTHOBOXED is meeting a need. It also helps to offset some of the negativity aimed at UNORTHOBOXED and at her personally.
Penina is often rebuked for her journey, those looking for field mines do their best to convince others that her content is explosive. Penina says that these people are behaving out of fear, which is one of our primary motivators as humans. They are afraid that the world is going to get away from them. Penina put it succinctly, “They are afraid of extinction… they have given in to fear and anger, and that’s the moral compass of their life.”
A small act of kindness can change the world, and that’s Penina’s end goal. “I think that if everybody treated each other with kindness, the world would be a very different place. And that’s a world I would like to experience in the next 60 or 70 years.” Penina is lifting the rug, blowing the lid off the box in an effort to affect that kindness. She wants her community to be emotionally strong and mentally healthy, which means addressing difficult and complex issues head-on. Penina says that we live in a world of concealment where things are unclear. That understanding requires that we treat others with grace, recognizing that we are all in different places. “We need to respect each other as co-travelers on this journey.”
Penina expresses her feeling of honor and gratitude for the staff “I might be the mama to the team, but without the team there is no UNORTHOBOXED.” UNORTHOBOXED remains a labor of love for those creating it. The future is filled with bright pages of meaningful content. Along the way, your kind notes, reader, have kept the team moving forward.
What Penina wants you to know is that you can find your power right here within Orthodoxy. You can find your place and claim it. Penina smiled and confidently declared, “You’re way more powerful than you think you are.”
Penina lives in Israel with her husband, four married children and 12 grandchildren. She is available to speak worldwide. To book a speaking event, shed can be reached at penina@peninataylor.com