God Said What?! #MyOrthodoxLife

By Miriam Racquel (Meryl) Feldman

(Harmony Press, ISBN 1737745402)

Review by Yaffi Lvova, RDN

Even before cracking open this inspirational book, the title engages the potential reader, beckoning a closer look. But if the title doesn’t quite do it, the Amazon description is sure to do the trick, even from the very first sentence: 

“A mysterious letter shows up from an old college boyfriend.” Done. 

But upon receiving the package, the reader discovers a couple of surprises: 

1. The size! Minus the picture section, glossary, and other resources, this tome is 453 pages.
2. In spite of its description, which might lead one to expect a work of good, spiritual fiction, it’s not fiction at all.

But God Said What?! does read like fiction, in the best of all ways. Even a slow reader will find themselves 300 pages in, before taking a break. 

Miriam Racquel, as secular Jewish seal-rescuing, boyfriend-loving Meryl, brings the reader along on her journey as she becomes more aware of her Judaism. This isn’t the usual story, that of a young girl finding a connection and pursuing religious observance through many obstacles. Miriam Racquel’s story is a story of resisting connection while pursuing the satisfaction of her insatiable curiosity.

Many baalei teshuva often feel at a loss when it comes to religious vocabulary and education in general. Miriam Racquel writes to them, serving it up on their level, without the heavy references in Hebrew or Yiddish that may interrupt the reader’s connection with the material. In a phone interview, she said that it was important for her to portray her journey in this easy and fun style so that it can be relatable, imparting Jewish concepts that can apply universally. For this reason, Miriam Racquel hired non-Jewish editors to help make sure these ideas came across as readable and gently engaging. God Said What?! communicates the depth and gravity of authentic emotions at the time, well-balanced with humor. This results in a light read that also sticks to your bones like a good bowl of oatmeal. 

Miriam Racquel (Meryl) loved her life rehabilitating seals and spending time with friends and family. She was very into her boyfriend, David. Then he went off to Israel to pursue a religious life. Meryl had always distanced herself from her heritage, telling people, “I’m American. My family is Jewish.” After going after David with the goal of rescuing him from the supposed cult of Orthodox Judaism, Miriam Racquel began grappling with her Jewish identity. Her story takes her across the globe in pursuit of first, “What does David see in all this?” and then, “God Said What?!”

Miriam Racquel chose to self-publish her book so she could tell her story in full, the story of the soul’s reach for something comfortable and familiar in the context of the Western World. This time in Crown Heights was electric. People ran around with pagers, passing messages of the Rebbe’s now nightly talks. He spoke about Geulah in new and different ways. The seventh Chabad Rebbe and his role remain hot points within and around the Chabad movement. Miriam Racquel respects that while telling the truth as she experienced it. According to the author, that decision resulted in negative feedback from some, but Miriam Racquel says she is committed to telling the truth and saying the difficult things too. “We can’t give up important parts of ourselves or our stories for the comfort of others. Sometimes we just have to tell the truth.”

So why did Miriam Racquel Feldman spend eight years writing and publishing this book?

“I do not accept this world the way it is. That’s why I wrote the book. Geulah is the goal.”

Whether you’re looking for a light read, or you want something to help you connect on a deeper level, this book is it. Simultaneously light and deep, surprising and refreshing. 

God Said What?! #MyOrthodoxLife is available from Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

Miriam Racquel (Meryl) Feldman is a Somatic Healer, Relationship Coach, and writer. More about her can be found at MiriamRacquel.com and YourMarriageMagic.com.