Matchmaking, a movie review

Mar 5, 2023 | Movie Review

Written by Ruti Eastman

Moti Bernstein, a yeshiva student from a well-known and respected Ashkenazi family, reaches the age to begin dating to find his beshert (his soulmate). One of the best matchmakers in the Orthodox world sets up meetings between Moti and “the best of the best” among the ultra-Orthodox girls from Israel and abroad.

Although he meets with the “highest in demand” girls, Moti is drawn instead to the only girl whom he will never be permitted to marry, a Mizrahi girl from among his sister’s friends. Moti’s religious foundations are utterly shaken by this impossible situation, and he is forced to take an extreme step in order to succeed in bending the matchmaking system in favor of love.

I was surprised by this movie (title translated from Bahurim Tovim or “Good Boys” in Hebrew). I originally went just to be able to tell a friend of many years that I had seen her daughter’s performance. As the movie was in Hebrew with only Hebrew subtitles, I was expecting to merely endure it without understanding much. However, the story was told and acted so well that I got much more than the gist of it. There are funny (and even slapstick) and sad moments throughout this romantic comedy, as the characters are asked to come to terms with the challenges of divisiveness. I was delighted by the characters and deeply moved by the importance of the message, a similar concept explored by Shakespeare in Romeo and Juliet, but much closer to the Jewish heart and very relevant to the times in which we live.

There are well-drawn and enjoyable characters throughout this excellent film. Besides the main character and his friend Baruch (who goes to ridiculous lengths to help Moti), the families on both sides of the divide are relatable, as they wrestle with their prejudices and their desire to see their children happily married. There is even an Arab character drawn in a humorous and sympathetic manner, a viewpoint not often available to those who live outside Israel. Attention is paid to the “best boy, best girl” problem in the shidduch (matchmaking) world. Happily, one of my favorite characters was played by Marni Schamroth Woolf in a wonderful bit-part as an American shidduch prospect for Moti. Marni brings such realism and warmth to the role, blending her American and Israeli selves into a characterization that could make any parent (or friend of a parent) proud. If the filmmaking world is wise, this actress has quite a career ahead of her.

Matchmaking is not just an award winner, it is a must-see film, and for this reason, I hope it will soon be available with English subtitles. We Jews have always been at our best when the world is shaking its fist at us but we remain united. Matchmaking reminds us of the importance of rising above prejudice to embrace each other as family.

Erez Tadmor’s Matchmaking is the winner of the 2023 Miami Jewish Film Festival Audience Award for Narrative Film. See this month’s feature article on actress Marni Schamroth Woolf’s part in the film, her career, and her victory over childhood challenges.

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