And in fact, Wiccans are offended by the fact that people regularly make that assumption. Billye explains that there are a lot of different forms of Wicca, but at the core, it is an earth-based religion that focuses on returning good to the universe in gratitude for the good you receive. Although she was involved with Wicca for a few years, Billye says that she realized that this was not the right path for her, and she was honest with herself and her community about this. She felt it was like a parallel path and never saw it as contradictory to the beliefs she personally held. She had moved up in the ranks of leadership, but ultimately turned down the offer of high priestess because of the fact that she knew that Wicca was not the true path for her.  

When I asked her if during this time of exploration Judaism was ever a consideration, she admits that at that point in her life she doesn’t even recall ever having met a Jewish person.  Although she has a theory that she had certainly met Jewish people, she just didn’t notice. 

While in Colorado, Billye also got involved in an organization called the Society for Creative Anachronism (SCA). SCA is a living history group that focuses on studying and recreating pre-seventeenth century (mainly medieval European) cultures and their histories. After over a decade in Colorado, Billye made her way to Virginia, Pennsylvania and eventually to Maryland, where she lives currently.

Although Billye was perfectly fine being a “solo practitioner” when it came to religion, she began to realize that she missed the social aspects of being part of a faith community.  She briefly considered Catholicism, but after reading some books, she realized that it wasn’t for her. What really cemented it for her was that she realized that she couldn’t get away from the (universally) Christian belief that if you aren’t a Christian you are going to hell. What bothered her, even more, was that each Christian group tends to believe that you have to be their brand of Christian in order to not go to hell. This was something she just couldn’t get past. 

As she began exploring her options, including Eastern religions, she realized that she had never actually thought about Judaism. So doing what she does, she bought a book. The first book she bought was Judaism for Dummies. She says that people make fun of the “for Dummies” books, but she is a firm believer that in order to learn about a subject, you first have to learn the vocabulary. And one of the best ways to pick up the vocabulary in a subject you’ve never approached before is in these “for Dummies” books, because they will give you the basic vocabulary and definitions so that you can understand books on the topic that are more advanced. So she read it, and she was intrigued. She says that the first two things that attracted her were the fact that in Judaism you are encouraged to ask questions, and that there is an emphasis on life-long learning, both incredibly important values to her.

The next step for Billye was to attend a synagogue and see how it felt. Since believing in God was never an issue – or a question – Billye needed to know if this was a place where she could connect with God in a real and tangible way. Her relationship with God had always been about how God felt to her and she says that she has felt God in many places, but the question was, would she feel God in the synagogue?

the frustrations she experienced, such as going to a simcha and being assumed to be “the help” rather than a guest because she doesn’t “look Jewish”. She also shared about going into a store and being followed around (something many people of color regardless of religion have experienced) or buying an item of Judaica and having the clerk ask her questions, implying that she has no clue what she is purchasing. 

Billy knows Jews of Color who were born Jewish and who find these things incredibly offensive. But she’s not easily offended, and she remarks that she is a convert so being asked if she’s a convert (although there are many sources that tell us we are never to ask such a question) has never bothered her, but it’s completely understandable that Jews of Color who are Jewish by birth do find it offensive.  

She shares that in general she’s experienced very few challenges being herself. But there was one time that she was at shul and there had been a bunch of police cars down the street from the building and after services a man from the shul was talking with a group of fellow congregants and made a big point about how he was just so annoyed about how there were all these Black people out there. He went on and on about Black people being this and Black people being that. He was across the room from Billye but he was loud enough for her to hear what he was saying. Billye stood there thinking all the things one thinks about a “racist jerk” as she put it, but she didn’t say anything. He wasn’t specifically talking to her, she just happened to be in the room, and so when it was time to go she left, with no direct interaction. About a week or so later, the racist guy came up to Billye and apologized. Billye was shocked, wondering what that was all about. It turns out that the Rabbi and the president of the congregation had pulled the guy aside and told him that his rant was completely unacceptable, that one of the members of the congregation who was in the room, also happens to be a Black woman, and that it was not ok.  Billye didn’t necessarily think the guy’s apology was sincere, but she definitely appreciated the fact that the leadership of the congregation cared about her feelings enough to make the guy apologize.

Even though God doesn’t physically touch us, there’s a space between man reaching out to God and God reaching out to man, and it’s that space that you can feel.

– Billye Tziporah Roberts