A Message From Our Editor
Written by Penina Taylor
It’s all over social media – comedian Chris Rock made a joke in bad taste about actor Will Smith’s wife Jada at this year’s Academy Awards, and Will Smith marched up on stage and hit Chris Rock. Everyone is taking sides – some say violence is never acceptable, no matter what. Others say violence isn’t acceptable, but we understand why Will Smith did what he did. And yet others say Chris Rock asked for it and Will Smith was right. But whichever opinion we take, one thing is certain; Chris Rock should never have made such a mean-spirited joke.
Humor is an odd thing. Sometimes the things humans find humorous are mean. I have pondered this for a long time – why is it funny to play a joke on someone? Why is it funny to make someone look stupid? When we think about it, we know it’s wrong, and yet in the moment, we laugh. But should we?
After reading about the incident, I did a little research and discovered that Jada Pinkett Smith has an autoimmune disease called alopecia, where she suffers severe hair loss. Being a woman, I can totally imagine what was going on in the Smith home weeks and days leading up to the Academy Awards. Everyone who shows up at the Awards ceremony comes in designer clothing – it’s a given. Most of the gowns and jewelry worn by the women will cost hundreds of thousands of dollars, but some register in the millions. Everyone is not only expected to look fabulous, but it is understood that everyone who walks that red carpet will be under the scrutiny not only of the other attendees, but of the thousands of journalists in attendance as well as their billions of readers. The whole world will be looking at you from the shoes you are wearing all the way up to – yes – the hairstyle you are sporting. And because of the way our world works, the women will be under much greater scrutiny than the men.
It seems that since the beginning of time, a woman’s worth has been directly connected to the way she looks. And even in the supposedly enlightened age in which we live, it hasn’t gotten any better. As a society we now supposedly accept people who present themselves in a variety of less conventional ways, but if a woman looks anything less than perfect, it is still considered socially acceptable not only for people to comment on it, but to make fun of her for it.
So we all know what was going on in their bedroom leading up to the event – “I can’t go to the Awards with my hair looking like this, what will people say, what will the paparazzi say? Should I wear a wig? Should I go bareheaded? Will they make fun of me?” Never mind the fact that she is objectively gorgeous and could probably get away with wearing anything, she is a woman, and this is what we live with – especially those of us who are constantly in the spotlight as Jada Pinkett Smith is.
How many husbands are familiar with the feeling of helplessness that comes when your wife feels ugly and is having anxiety about going to a public event? Hours of tears and reassurances and hugs don’t alleviate the burden that most husbands bear in such a situation, and you know that Will Smith’s joy over his nomination was tempered by the cloud of his wife’s self-consciousness over her looks.
So when Chris Rock decided to make her bald look the butt of one of his jokes, Will Smith – right or wrong – did what most men would do and defended his
beautiful wife’s honor. Should he have hit someone? I don’t think so. But Chris Rock was wrong. Dead wrong.
When I think about how I would summarize Judaism’s main principles in one sentence, there are two verses that come to mind. The first one is from the Gemara – The story is told of a gentile who approached Hillel and asked him to explain the Torah to him while standing on one foot. The famous response by the sage is, “That which is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow; this is the whole Torah; the rest is commentary; go and learn.” (Shabbat 31a)
It is interesting that in Christianity this concept is rephrased to say, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” It may seem like the same thing, but the two phrases couldn’t be more opposite. While the New Testament account is about the action, Hillel was talking about the thought – specifically having an attitude of compassion and kindness. Judaism isn’t about making people happy by doing things for them, it’s about thinking before we take action so that we do not embarrass others. It’s about not causing distress, about not making life more difficult than it already is, hence the verse about not putting “a stumbling block before the blind”.
The other passage that comes to mind is found in Micah 6:8 – “He has told you, O man, what is good, and what the Lord requires of you; Only to do justice, love kindness, and walk modestly with your God.”
Love kindness.
Had Chris Rock been more kind, he wouldn’t have gotten slapped. Had the world been more kind, Will Smith wouldn’t have felt the need to slap him.
Judaism is about kindness and compassion. That’s what it means when we are told to be a Light to the Nations. What is that light supposed to look like? Is it supposed to look like people having their heads in books? Wearing black and white? Walking on Saturday? Not eating pork? While we are commanded to do many of those things, they are not the whole of Torah, they are not the light. The light is kindness.
When I try to imagine a world illuminated by kindness, it is a much different world than the one we currently see. What the world needs now is not love. It’s compassion and kindness. Imagine what the world would look like if everyone was kind.
