Dweck applies this idea to education. But as the “People of the Book”, we know that learning is so much more than the education system with its winding path through kindergarten, elementary school and on; more than classes, grades and career development. In reading the magnificent books of the Torah over and over and sharing new and old interpretations of the very same words every year, we demonstrate that the capacity to learn is unlimited.

It’s not surprising then that growth mindset has positive effects in areas far flung from education. Growth mindset is correlated not only with greater achievement, but also with life satisfaction. People who believe that they can improve their socioeconomic status are less negatively affected by economic adversity. Companies that have worked to develop a growth mindset provide greater support for innovation and have employees who are more empowered and committed, whereas a fixed mindset in organizations has been found to be related to increased cheating and lying. Applying a growth mindset to the work of living well may be the single most important thing you can do to increase your life satisfaction.  

A growth mindset gives you courage to explore hardships and notice what makes them hurt or challenge you more, on the one hand, and what soothes, heals or improves them on the other. If you believe that you can’t grow and change, it can be frightening to look your struggles and fears in the eye. But without understanding your challenges, it’s much harder to work out how to soothe and heal them. Just think about it: when the computer isn’t working, or the recipe doesn’t turn out, we know that we need to see what’s going on in order to figure out what can be done to fix it. 

Similarly, if we want to refine our behavior or if we’re unsatisfied or unhappy, seeing what’s going on inside can help us respond effectively

and take steps towards the change we seek. Here’s one way to do this while harnessing the power of a growth mindset: notice your internal self-talk and respond to it.  

When working to refine our behavior, and in moments of stress or distress, many of us have a nasty, self-blaming voice inside. Naturally, we try to push this down and usually we don’t truly hear it. This discouraging inner voice comes from a place of fixed mindset, a place of limiting self-judgement. Though painful at first, it’s powerful to hear what this voice is saying and how it’s affecting us, so that we can sound a wiser, more growth-oriented voice.

With this simple tool, often referred to as self-talk, you can learn from your own experience and teach yourself more skillful approaches to the challenges of your life.  Face any destructive thoughts you’re having and expose them to the light of reason and compassion. When we clearly hear the limiting messages that we’re giving ourselves, then we can answer them with a more constructive and true message. So, for example, if your inner voice says: “You’ll never succeed,” you may choose to answer this way: “I’m taking steps towards achieving my dreams.” Then, think of a specific small step you’ve taken recently and plan your next one. If your inner voice says: “Your life is terrible and it’s all your fault,” you can choose to answer in a way that is meaningful and healing for you. You may reply, for example: “I have so much goodness in my life” – and take notice of something good right now. Or: “My intention is almost always to do good in some way,” again taking a moment to make it specific.

If creating your own self-talk is not your thing, another way to choose a growth mindset self-talk mantra is to pick a familiar phrase that inspires and strengthens you and that provides an effective response to your unhelpful internal messages. The Jewish prayer book, the siddur, is full of such phrases. Next time you pray, notice