Enjoying Chanukah When You are Alone
Written by Hannah Heller
What do you associate with Chanukah? Latkes? Sufganiyot? Lighting the menorah? Presents? Togetherness with family? Dreidels? Light and warmth in the middle of winter? These are the aspects of the holiday that most people anticipate with great excitement. What happens, however, when you have to do it all alone? Can you still find the joy and excitement that was once a regular part of Chanukah? Can you transform feelings of loneliness, darkness and emptiness into the happiness of a Chanukah celebration?
As a widow and an empty nester, I reflect on fond memories of Chanukah both from my childhood and with my late husband and with my children. Now that I am all alone at home, I have to find a way to maintain Chanukah as a delightful holiday and one that brings happiness and celebration. I know that there are many others in similar situations. Whether one has never married, is divorced, widowed, or has to be alone for business or school reasons, it can be challenging to enjoy Chanukah by oneself. I know that my situation is certainly not unique.
While lighting the candles on Chanukah, I think about Jews all over the world celebrating this holiday and the miracle it represents. I remember the amazing fact that in spite of all the nations who wanted to destroy us, the Jewish people are everlasting and I am part of this beautiful legacy. Each of us contributes to the light of the holiday when we kindle our individual menorahs. Just like the miracle of the Chanukah story where one vial of oil that was meant for one day lasted eight days, our little attempt to bring light into our homes in the midst of darkness and often cold weather can bring joy to
last at least for the eight nights and hopefully beyond. The menorahs show us that there is light and hope, not only for Chanukah, but for the future as well.
For those who are gifted with being artistic and creative, rearranging one’s home and decorating for Chanukah can also make the house come alive. Inviting another single friend, a married couple or a family to my home can also make a difference. Even when this is not possible, reaching out by phone or by video helps people feel connected to one another.
My ideas may be helpful, but often, this is not enough. Part of celebrating Chanukah should include reaching out to others who are alone. I remember a few years ago, a local Chabad rebbetzin gathered together women in my community for a Chanukah dinner, sharing words of Torah, getting to know one another and exchanging inexpensive gifts. Feeling included in a group helps to fill the void of being alone on a holiday that is all about togetherness.
Even in times of a pandemic, when many people don’t feel comfortable getting together as a
group, there are ways to include those who are alone. A Zoom gathering, a phone call, a package, a personalized note, even an email, letting someone know that you are thinking of them goes a long way. You never know the impact you can have on someone’s life by these gestures that may appear small to you, but may make a huge difference to someone else. It will make a difference to you too as you share in the joy of bringing happiness to others.
As we continue to add light to our many Chanukiot (menorahs), we can illuminate the homes and lives of those who are alone, not only on this festival, but also throughout the year. As the Jews rededicated the Beit Hamikdash, we can rededicate ourselves to building a community that is strengthened by including people of all walks of Jewish life.
In whatever way you are able to celebrate Chanukah, it should be a wonderful holiday that brings joy into your home, no matter where you are and whether you are with others or by yourself. Even when we are physically alone, we are all connected as a Jewish people, especially at this important time of the year.
You never know the impact you can have on someone’s life by these gestures that may appear small to you, but may make a huge difference to someone else.
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