The Healing Power of a Smile

Feb 1, 2022 | Aging Gracefully, Mind & Body

Written by Miryam Levine, CRN, CCM

You might think that many years of experiencing life would make us immune to the mundane issues of living. We’ve had a lot of practice hitting road bumps along the way. After all, in our careers, experience makes us experts and we learn how to handle problems when they come along. Whether it’s heavy duty “rocket science” or simply “making the bed”, we become well trained to look at the particulars, identify a problem (if any), analyze, make an assessment, offer suggestions, make corrections and then continue. Using this logic, as we age we should become experts at life – being able to handle any little thing that comes our way.

It seems simple enough if we are objectively looking at a situation and are not directly affected by it. We can be somewhat detached and are usually able to see a bit more clearly and offer guidance. But it’s quite another thing when the situation rests firmly on our (individual) own shoulders. The burdens can become too much to deal with when there seems to be no help or end to the onslaught, causing an inner turmoil and pain perceived to be too intense and too deep to relieve. Smiling is the farthest thing from our mind as we become engrossed in the pursuit of relief from our pain. 

Pain exists in many forms – physical, spiritual, emotional and even empathic. 

Sometimes there is an “easy fix” as with a physical injury and sometimes the fix eludes us when the source is a mysterious, hidden or complex issue. Sometimes it’s both at the same time. Trauma (in any form) can cause severe emotional repercussions as in PTSD – post traumatic stress disorder. Even the hormonal havoc of childbirth can lead to postpartum depression. 

No matter the cause, our pain is very real and sometimes prolonged. Unfortunately, we also have a tendency to hide this from others, bearing the burdens in silence. When this occurs, especially in protracted circumstances, it can result in behavioral changes that are either obvious or palpable to others. 

We can feel really sorry for ourselves. Irritability overtakes everything else. We are grumpy, frustrated and increasingly angry. Our demeanor can make us “meaner” and cause us to lash out at others, especially those who love us the most and who want to help but don’t know how. So whatever they try to do seems more hurtful to us. We seem to have lost touch with gratitude,

mercy and kindness. How in the world do we get these back in the midst of the storm and chaos?

The answer may be simpler than we think. 

If you’ve ever had someone tell you to cheer up or smile, you may have felt like punching them, but there’s actually science behind that suggestion. It has been shown that just the physical act of smiling, even if there’s no corresponding “happy” feeling behind it, has the ability to lower our stress levels and improve our immune system. We tend to think that happiness makes us smile, when in truth smiling can make us happy. Or at least happier. When we smile, it causes a release of hormones such as dopamine and serotonin, which can improve our mood and give us a feeling of hope.

Viktor Frankl’s life (1905-1977) and work reinforce this idea. He was a Viennese  neurologist, psychiatrist, philosopher, and Holocaust survivor of three concentration camps. After his liberation he published his world-famous autobiographical Man’s Search for Meaning. This riveting book is about his experiences in the camps. It launched his epic life’s work, Logotherapy. It’s huge success became the foundational springboard for seven decades of numerous other counseling therapies.

Frankl lost his entire family at the hands of the Nazis and helplessly watched countless others succumb when they gave up all hope. He also observed many others clinging to a whisper of a promise of what may still await them “after”.These were the survivors.

It comes down to a sort of “awakening”, a momentary stepping out of ourselves and looking at others. Because we know pain, we can be more empathetic to pain in someone else.

We can see it in their eyes, if we look. 

When we open our eyes and heart to our fellow sufferers, the anger and self pity dissolves into sadness and caring for other sojourners on planet Earth. Suddenly we are not focused on self but on others. Our own burdens are lifted as we create a “why” through our compassion and davening (praying) for others. And this causes a shift in ourselves. We then become part of the medicine that also heals us!

All we have to do is see them, hear them, smile at them, even a nod of the head with the best that we can muster, will signal that we acknowledge them. We will lift their spirits! And in turn our own spirits will be lifted – one smile at a time. 

We are reminded that we have so many opportunities for healing and growth, regardless of circumstances. By helping to lift someone else, we gain back that part of ourselves that’s very precious. Perhaps that may be a reason for the whole exercise?

We act as mirrors, showing someone the way we see them, with kindness and beauty they may have forgotten. Sometimes, the road of life can make us dusty, and we forget to see ourselves. We are in their lives, as they are in ours, to remind them.

If it is difficult to smile in the midst of suffering, sadness and anger, just practice. No excuses, just do it even if you don’t feel like it. Consider it a facial exercise. Your smile will be such a gift for yourself as well as those in pain. Some will be receptive. Some won’t give themselves permission to receive sweetness, yet. All we can do is try. In the trying, we heal.

 “Be part of the medicine that heals YOU!”

Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.

Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.

An abnormal reaction to an abnormal situation is normal behavior.

                                             – Viktor E. Frankl, “Man’s Search for Meaning”

Related Articles

Related