The All-Purpose, 2-Step, 30-Second, Miracle Mini Self-Care Tool

Here’s my favorite mini self-care tool. You can do it for 30 seconds or linger for longer. The main thing is to bring your full attention to each of the two steps.

First step: Breathe.

Second step: Look up.

You may be saying: What? How can this help anything? I breathe and look up all the time and I feel terrible! Well, here’s how. It’s all about attending to senses. It’s all about connecting to the present moment by way of these senses.

In the first step, use the sense of interoception – or inner touch – the sixth sense that we sadly were not taught about as children, to experience the sensations of one breath. Notice the rise and fall of the belly, how it swells out with the inbreath and sinks with the outbreath. To connect to this more fully, lay your palm gently on your lower belly. Or, notice the soft brush against the nostrils or the tongue as the air glides into and out of the body. Pick one of these locations to bring a gentle curiosity to the sensations of the breath. 

But never underestimate the power of small self-care approaches.

Focusing on the sensations of the breath was found by researchers at Harvard University to create a relaxation response. You may decide to master this practice and add additional steps. But we’re talking here about a powerful mini practice. That’s step one. Simply notice the sensations of the breath.

The second step is to raise your glance and look at the room around you. Again, the key is to do this with a gentle, but attentive curiosity. As I look up at this moment my eyes immediately brush across a knitted pillow cover of pale blue and green. It was created with large knitting needles so each stitch is visible. These cushions are in my office all day long but I rarely stop and notice them. In step two of this mini miracle tool, I’m noticing one row of stitches – how each stitch sits like a little triangle on top of the one beneath. There’s a narrow dark blue stripe with points along each edge. The pale green of the middle section is soothing to my eyes. Think of this as a practice of “pokeach ivrim” as in the blessing that we say every morning thanking God for giving sight to the blind. We are blind when we don’t notice the intricacy and beauty around us. Taking a moment to notice is a source of pleasure and peacefulness. 

Focusing on the sensations of the breath and looking up to notice something with your vision, bring your attention to the present moment. When we’re stressed or anxious, our attention is usually on the future. The present moment always includes something good or something neutral. The trick is in directing our attention to these neutral and good things in the here and now and taking a break from the thoughts and worries about things that are not happening now.

That’s the basic tool. You can add a sprinkle of appreciation to make it even better. Notice the miracles of breath and of vision that are taking place right now. Notice that the body feels pleasant sensations with the breath, that there is something beautiful to look at wherever you are.

Make this tool even more powerful by adding a third step: Soften your belly. Let the muscles of your lower abdomen loosen and open. This will allow more room for the breath. Try this now. You may notice that your jaw loosens and your shoulders drop into a more relaxed posture. The whole body releases when we soften the belly.

A soft belly also influences our emotions. Think of something that’s annoying to you. Did your belly muscles tighten? When we’re stressed, they often do. Just as emotions affect physical, muscular stress levels, the opposite is also true. Loosen the muscles of the belly and emotions too are soothed.

Self care is about taking care of our needs. This mini self-care tool helps us meet some very basic needs and indeed to notice that our needs are being met right this moment. There is breath. There is beauty. We stop for a moment and notice the neutral and the good, connecting to our bodies and to our senses. 

Think of this as a practice of the blessing “She’asa li kol tzarki” translated as “God has fulfilled all my needs”. We feel stress and emotional discomfort when we focus on what we don’t have. Knowing what we want more of is a key step in making beneficial change. But getting stuck there is a source of worry and self doubt. It’s important to pay just as much attention to what we do have.  Take this moment to notice that in every moment you are nourished and sustained. It can feel like we don’t have the time to do this, but we do. We may feel that a few seconds can’t impact our lives, but they can. 

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